Days of their lives - Claudio

Well, Claudio has just opened a new eatery, since Gaucho Gazpacho has been so successful, attracting as it has both critical and popular acclaim in equal measure - one critic hailed it as 'a hotbed of Argentinian Nouvelle, with plenty of emphasis on the hot. Chef Claudio Diego Cardinale's salsa was bursting with the most pungently piquant pep, providing an eminently coruscating complement to the brilliantly conceived Broccoli Badger', while a diner interviewed outside the restaurant noted that he let three calls go on his mobile because he was enjoying the Dingo Delight so much - which he has created as a sort of, as he puts it, 'fast and gerrreasy meatfood place, innit', called Spic 'n' Spam.

Table talk around Wellminstow has been of little else and Runty has applied for a waiting job under an assumed name, in the hope that he will be able to get closer to Claudio that way, that maybe Claudio will notice him as he snarls out an order and the scales will fall from his eyes (Claudio is a bit manic when it comes to preparing fish and the bits do go everywhere).